Sanni and Maija
At Christmas 2018, I watched slides from my childhood with my family. In all pictures of me, my big sister Maija was next to me. It feels strange that we used to be so close when we were young, considering how separate our lives now are. We both had a similar childhood in a reality that was happy, yet influenced by psychological and physical abuse. However, the pictures show two adorable children picking berries, playing with plastic animals, smiling in the middle of flourishing rose bushes or cuddling a cat. Do pictures ever convey the truth? Can a fraction of a second erase everything else that is outside of the picture, perhaps even from our memories?
Happy Self-portraits
During this exceptional period, I have painted more than 60 self-portraits and created one bust. Self-portraits have been common through the ages, and there is nothing new about my idea as such. While working on these pieces, I experienced a new kind of time in my life. It feels as if the veil of anxiety covering me has been removed and I no longer see myself as flawed and bad. I have learned to trust myself and, most importantly, treat myself with a new kind of gentleness. It is interesting how an image always shows the same person, yet they are different and expressing something new. Through my works, I depict my healing and recovery process. In my works, the ill-being that has lasted for decades is finally going away.
